Saturday, November 02, 2002

Why Chris? cuz all other nick names would be to easy to guess who it is. Since this thing can be read by other peeps.

Well, I have to admit, I was shocked when I read that someone said you need to seem'em again. Oh my word. Like that's gunna help you at all. Riiight. Stand strong, girl. Ya know once a bone is broken and then healed it's like twice as strong? Yeah. :)
As I said before, I'm glad u and Z could talk. Ya'll can really understand eachother a way that I can't. I mean, I can, but not totally.
Anyhoo.
Cry dry tears? Yeah, it's possible. Not to change the topic but like ayear ago I wrote a song called Dry Tears. Heh, funny, huh?
I'll see about sending it to you some time.
I love you, girl. I don't care what happens, I'll still try my darndest to be here for you.
ttys. Lates for now.

-jac

Thursday, October 31, 2002

Nothing to be sorry about. I still adore you. I still love you as a sister. :-)
You have taught me the importance of the simple things in life. A simply thing is life. A beautiful and "normal" thing. A Kiss. And how it's so impotant. I'll tell ya what, Li. Before this whole ting I have never given my first kiss much thought. But you helped me and opened my eyes to see that it's a treasure. A present that is to be opened when God deems it so.
Ya know, when you meet THE perfect guy, you *will* have that first kiss, that first kiss with him. And it will mean SO much more and will be so sweet and true that any itty bitty mistakes you made in the past will fade as a new focus grows strong.
And God, is a God of 2nd chance! PtL! And ya know, He's used this whole thing to draw you closer to HIM! That right there is sooo awesome and worth a lil pain, right? Remember the stories of how the lamb's leg must be broken so the lamb will learn to love the Master as He cares for His baby? Yeah.
I'll tell you something I told, Z. "So you've fallen down, get up and walk again! This time you'll see those rocks in the road better and know to steer clear of them."
Don't be sorry, don't hurt for to long. Sin does hurt, but that's why there's forgiveness.
Here we go, back on the path again, you and me. Standing tall, standing proud. :-)

-jac

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

I just dunno what to say! I hurt for you soo much. And I'm so stunned. How can it be? I mean, yeah, I dunno HOW to say what I mean! Seriously, I wanna say so much. But I dunno how to put it. I hurt and am sad and I just dunno.
At the same time I am shocked that it's me left 'standing'. And not really though. But, Li! I don't wanna stand on my own! I don't wanna face this fight all by myself. I'd rather fall! Ok, no not really, but like I said, I can't say what I mean.
I'm just thrown into complete confusion. NO song can soften this hurt or heal it faster. No words can. Everything is just, stupid. Oh heck, not stupid. I'm just...I feel so heart broken for you and Z and, and scared? My heart really does ache for you, my dearest friends.

-jac
Chris=nickname for the jerk.

Monday, October 28, 2002

well, since you WERE right about the seeing a persons real character thing, ehh, maybe I will talk to him. See I kinda did talk to him and I think that's what did it. Killed our friendship I mean. Chris is just, AURGH! I dunno. (Yes, CHRIS, I don't think I've told you his name before, huh?) Anyhoo, maybe it's time to talk again, heck, I see'em at school maybe I should, huh?
ttys.

-jac

ps. aww thanks. bout the lyrics I mean.
No, no, it means alot to get your opinion. It really does, and deep in my heart what ur saying is what I KNOW. Ya know? K, but it's like this, HE still thinks we're friends, he's just weird. I dunno! I mean, when we *do* talk it's like we're the best of friends. I just dunno what he wants, what I want.
"And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want whats yours and I want whats mine. I want you, but I'm not giving in this time. Good bye to you! Good bye toe everything I thought I knew, you were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold on to. The one thing that I tried to hold on to. And when the stars fall I will lie awake, you were my shooting star."
I want sooo bad to sing that song to his face. And then walk away and never see him again. Ya know? Stupid I know, but I'd really like to. Haha, I'm so shallow.
Don't laugh at me, but this is one reason I wanna start a band (NOT the main reason). Like, ya know, DO something great with my life and prove to myself that I don't need his approval. I CAN do things. Do you get what I mean? No? Aurgh! It's like I just wanna DO something great with my life and show me that I can! Geez I'm so messed up!
Thanks for the words of help and encouragement. It means alot to me. I t really does and I wanna hear anything else you have to say about this!
My gosh those lyrics are funny now that I look back and read them. NOT Michelle's lyrics! Mine, heh heh.

-jac

Sunday, October 27, 2002

Ok, so people aren't always as they seem. Why is it *you* can see some good or awesomeness in a person and no one else can? Is it really cuz that person is a jerk? Or are the people who hate him just bias and not taking the time to get to know him, who he is as an individual, as a child in Chirst! Seriously, peeps really hate his guts, but I can honestly tell ya that they don't take a freakin min to get to know him! And I have! And I *know* there IS good in there! Honest!
So, is it just me? Am I just a blind fool? Yeah? I guess so. I dunno though, li! Can't I still be friends?! Anything wrong with that? Is it wrong to hope and continue to be kind? Not mean and rude, like most peeps are to the poor kid.
It sounds like I'm just defending him, huh? Like I'm just taking his side cuz I'M bias. Well, maybe that's so. You know what? Screw the 'maybe'. I AM bias. But I can't help it!! Wouldn't you take ur friends side rather than peeps you really don't care for?!
Or should I just forget it and him and everything? I could type up Avril's lyrics for Complicated right here, huh? *sigh* :-P
*shakes head* I dunno what to do/say/type.

Just tell me your answer, why does it have to be hard?
What do you want from me? I'm playin' all my cards!
I've tried to be patient and thoughtful and see
But all of this looking has just gotten me...
-
Nothing! And it's nothing, but I cry here.
Nothing, there's nothing left to say.
Crying, but why crying when there's nothing left to shead a tear for?
Not for you, not for me, not for...
Nothing.

-jac