That's kinda nice to know that I'm not the only one out there. And really there are soooo many peeps in the same boat. I just don't know them. I'm just getting kinda stressed about what to do and where to go. And I do not stress easy. It takes alot to un-nerve me. I guess college can be something pretty big, eh? ;-)
I tatolly agree though! At this point it's kidna like all I have left is Jesus. And as much as I have not held Him up high where He should always be, I do love Him and wanna serve Him with my whole heart, really I do. *sigh*
Right now I'm just gunna focus on getting my AA next year and my GED. Yeah. One day at a time. Amen, sista.

-jac

Li, have you always known what you wanted to do with your life? Do you know now? If you do, what helped you make that choice? Hobbies? Friends? Job? I am so lost right now, I have not a clue what to do with my life. I mean, I know what I'm suppose to do, but I can't do it right now. Well, I sorta can. AURGH! See? I make no sense! Someone slap me. *smack smack*
I really do not think I was made for the every day life of getting a "boring" job, getting married and poppin' out kids for the rest of my life. So to speak. I wanna do something big, bigger then myself. Something awesome for God!
What do you think?
Btw, have you thought about your "problem/not problem" anymore? I wish there was a way I could help you. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you. Anything.
Lates for now.

-jac

ps. how's the book coming along?

bye, Z! We love ya! Maybe some day we'll see ya on again, huh? I am praying for you, girl. And I'm so sorry that things are so stupid for you right now. :-( I miss you. Ttys.
love,
jac

ahh, now it's working. Yay! I dunno what's up with Z. I guess it's simply what she says it is, just no more email. :-( Sad.
Should you write to him? Oh man, I dunno! It's so complicated! "...Walked past the place you worked, hurt me like an open scar..." Eh? Sheesh, I jsut dunno, girl. Maybe yes? What do you think in your heart? Like what do you want 5 years from now? You want him in your future? Or do you want to end things now? I'm now trying to be sappy, I'm just sayin' what are you hearing in your heart?
Peeps at church? No joke. Since I don't have a black leather jacket and don't dress cool, I am soooo not in. Ahh well. I've gotten use to it. If they don't like me for who I am I'm gunna have to deal with it. Kinda hard and kinda hurts, but that's life. Sucks, huh?
Oh man, I need a job sooo bad. Moola is getting tight and I just need it for small, lil things. Whaaa! Anyhoo...
ttys.

-jac

hey li. The thing's not working! Do you know what's up? (Not working meaning that nothing is showing up on our Post to Orange Paper page.) ttyl.

I know, I know. It's up to me to decided if I wanna be walked all over or not. I know! But it's not that easy.
So I've just stayed away from them. Kinda closed myself up into my own lil world. I go to church, love the preaching, but hate the fellowship. Can you have one without the other? Aurgh! I can not stand confrontation, so like I said, I just stay away from them and ignore them. Ask any of my *real* friends at church (all two of them) and they'll tell ya I pretty much hang by myself. Lone wolf or whatever.
Anyhoo...As I've said before, I'm a spineless, little prophet. Heh.
Oh, Li! I did that too! I wrote up with big long thing and hit post, not post & publish and it cleared it!! AHHH!!! Sooo, write in soon though!
lates,
jac

I wasn't calling you fickle! No way.
That's kinda funny that your two "tight" friends are at church. I have almost no friends at church, they're all stuck up and stuck on themselves type peeps. But I totally understand what you mean, Z. I am such a self centered, schmuck head that is kinda stupid for me to being sitting here typing how others are so mean and cold, when heck! I am the biggest jerk of them all! Just goes to show you that what you despise and detest in other people is merely a eye opener to the EXACT problems in your life. Ya know?
For example, I hate hypocrites! HATE'EM! But *I* am the biggest hypocrite ever! Geez! Drives me crazy cuz I hate it and do it. Am I making any sense?
Z, I think I know who you are talking about, but not really sure.
You said to say 'hey it was nice knowing you' and move on. What if the other chick pulls you back in? Like a yo-yo? In and out and in and out. One min you're the best thing since sliced bread, the next you're a weird, short kid they want nothing to do with. I am not kidding! Some days they are they sweetest and friendliest friends ever. The next day they won't even say hi.
Z, I think we've talked about this before. Heck, I think I talked about this with you too, Li.
I think I just don't do that great in the friends department. Probably just me, very paranoid. Eh?
Complicated? Yeah.
lates,
jac

Random thought, hey orange paper peeps, you realize that this means we have to write a song called orange paper now? Right?! Just for the heck of it.
Still working on your song, Li. I'm getting writers block though, *nothing* is clicking with this song. Hey Z, you need to read this song that Li wrote. Very cool, PLUS, she wrote it for me. Awww sweet! No? ;-)

-jac

KK, did I get this dang thing working?! Whew...thank so much for the help, Z.
Epp! Sorry!! I didn't see that you wrote that you were gunna change the color. Sorry bout that.
Li! Doh! Did you see what you called me? Lol. Ah schmuck. Who cares?
My gosh, Li, I know what you mean bout flaky friends. When peeps want to hang out with you only when it suits their time zone. I had a girl one time BEG me to stay with her and not leave without her, I was like, 'sure, sure. I'll stay.' But when she was done (it was a bunch of girls in the camp showers and my stall was next to hers) she took off and didn't stay around for me. Geez, that's happened to me so many times. Not being stranded in a shower stall I mean, but having "friends" walk out on ya, when they've asked *you* not too. Whatever.
Ok ok, so it doesn't exactly go with what you are talking about, but it reminded me of my experiences. Friends are so fickle. Well, most of them are. I've found a couple real cool ones though. ;-)
"It's better to be hated for who you are then loved for what you're not"
Lates for now peeps!

-jac